What Are The Common Myths About Fostering and Adopting?

Myth: Foster Children Are Damaged and Troublemakers

This harmful myth negatively affects foster kids in the foster care system. Some people think that foster children are runaways, troublemakers, and will only bring problems to their homes. This is not true. Most children placed in foster care have experienced various kinds of trauma, such as growing up in a challenging home environment where parents may have alcohol or drug addiction problems.

Approximately 65% of foster kids have experienced abuse. Neglect is a form of abuse they often face in their biological families. This is a common reason why children are placed in the foster system. They are suddenly separated from their birth families and the only home they know, which can trigger anxiety, depression, and trauma.

Foster children require proper treatment for trauma and abuse, such as therapy or trauma-informed care.

Myth: Foster Families Should Not Bond or Form Emotional Relationships with Their Foster Children

Foster parents must bond with their foster children. These children need all the love, care, and support they can get. Sometimes, fostering is temporary, so you may have to say goodbye to your foster children. However, foster parents can positively impact their foster child’s life. This can help the children deal with their trauma and feel loved and cared for by their foster parents.

Myth: Fostering and Adoption Are the Same

Fostering and adoption are not the same. Foster care is a service provided by the government to assist children who temporarily cannot live with their birth parents. The primary goal of foster care is to reunite the child with their biological family.

The difference between fostering and adopting is that fostering is a temporary solution, aiming to reunite the child with their birth parents. Adoption, on the other hand, is permanent. If the court decides that a child in the foster system is eligible for adoption, it means their family is not a suitable fit to care for them. For example, if you are a foster parent and your foster child becomes eligible for adoption, you must undergo the legal process of adopting the child from the foster care system.

Myth: Foster Children Are Placed in the Foster Care System Solely Due to Trauma Caused by Abuse or Neglect

Foster children enter the foster system for various reasons, including neglect, trauma, abuse, or the death of both parents. While abuse and neglect are common reasons, sometimes their biological parents are found to be unfit, abandon their children, or voluntarily place them in the foster system. Additionally, some children are taken from their homes because their parents are incarcerated and there’s no one left to care for them.

Myth: Only Perfect Parents Will Be Accepted to Become Foster or Adoptive Parents

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. As much as you want to be the best and most prepared, you will make mistakes along the way. Instead of feeling let down, embrace everything, and if mistakes are made, correct them as you go.

As a foster or adoptive parent, you must spend time and energy to love and care for your foster or adoptive child. You must learn to communicate with them and let them know that you are always there to love, support, care for, and guide them. If you make mistakes, you learn from them so you won’t repeat them.

Myth: You Can’t Foster or Adopt a Child of a Different Race or Ethnicity

Children of different races or ethnicities may end up in the foster care system and need loving homes. You can adopt or foster a child of a different race or ethnicity, which is also known as transracial fostering or adoption.

According to studies, children of color rarely get adopted and often remain in the foster care system for a long time. You must open your heart and share your love with them. All the kids in foster care need a family to love and care for them.