Holidays are a time of celebration, family, and tradition, but for many children in foster care, they can also remind them of loss and instability. Whether it’s their first holiday away from their biological family or spent in a new home, these occasions can stir up complex emotions. As foster parents, it’s important to create a safe, loving, and inclusive environment, no matter the challenges.
While holidays can be joyful for some, others may feel anxious or overwhelmed by the changes of being in a new home. Foster children, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, may need extra care to address their emotions.
Foster parents have the chance to make the holiday season a healing experience. By recognizing the emotional needs of foster children and creating a positive atmosphere, they can turn these special times into meaningful memories.
Start New Traditions
For many children in foster care, the holidays can bring mixed emotions. They may feel excitement, but also anxiety about being away from their biological families or adjusting to a new environment.
For some, the holidays may highlight what’s been lost, rather than feeling like a time of celebration. This is a perfect opportunity to introduce positive traditions unique to your family.
Whether it’s baking cookies, decorating the tree, volunteering, or watching a favorite holiday movie, new traditions can help foster children feel connected to their homes. These rituals offer comfort and stability, making children feel part of something special.
Starting a new tradition also helps children bond with their foster family and create happy memories. It could be something simple, like a holiday scavenger hunt or a dinner where everyone shares what they’re grateful for. The key is making it fun, inclusive, and memorable.
Be Sensitive to Their Emotions
The holidays can be difficult for children who have experienced trauma or separation from their biological families. Some may not show their feelings but still feel sadness, confusion, or loneliness, especially if they have spent many holidays apart from family or are adjusting to a new home.
Take time to check in and acknowledge their emotions. Offering space to talk or simply being present can be more meaningful than forcing cheerfulness. If a child is not ready to talk, do not push them, but let them know that you support them.
Some children may feel upset about missing their families or experience grief. Listen, offer a comforting hug, and reassure them their feelings are valid. Creating a calm environment or offering quiet activities can be as important as participating in holiday celebrations.
Make the Child Feel Special
Holidays and special occasions often involve gift-giving, but for children in foster care, a gift can show them they are valued and loved. Many foster children may not have experienced consistent celebrations or received much in the way of gifts or affection in the past. During the holidays, giving a thoughtful gift can be a meaningful way to show they are part of a family that cares for them.
This does not have to be an expensive gesture. A personal gift that aligns with the child’s interests is just as meaningful. For example, an art kit for a child who loves art or a book for a child who enjoys reading. Meeting a child’s specific need through a gift can also be empowering.
A gift does not always have to be physical. Sometimes, the best gift is your time. Create a special day where the child chooses an activity like a movie day, a trip to the zoo, or a visit to their favorite restaurant. A thoughtful gift, whether tangible or experiential, shows children they matter. It also allows them to experience the joy of giving, whether by helping pick out gifts for others or creating holiday decorations.
Respect Their Family Connections
For some children in foster care, holidays can remind them of their biological family. It’s important to recognize and respect the bonds they have with their biological parents, siblings, or other family members. Depending on the situation, the child may want to maintain contact through phone calls, letters, or video chats.
If safe and possible, encourage communication with their birth family. Some children find comfort in speaking with their parents or siblings during emotionally charged times like the holidays. However, ensure these interactions are coordinated with social workers and biological families to meet the child’s emotional and developmental needs.
It’s also important to respect the child’s wishes. Some may prefer little or no contact with their birth family during the holidays. What matters most is acknowledging their feelings and sensitively supporting their needs.
Create a Sense of Normalcy
Holidays can be overwhelming for children who have experienced significant changes. One of the best ways to support foster children is by creating a sense of normalcy amid the festivities.
While some families enjoy big celebrations, others prefer quieter gatherings. Tailor the holiday to what feels right for the child. A peaceful dinner or a quiet afternoon watching movies can provide stability. Try to maintain routines, such as regular bedtimes or mealtimes, to help the child feel secure amidst the unfamiliar. The structure offers comfort, especially if the holidays bring new experiences.
Also, the anticipation of events can sometimes be more overwhelming than the events themselves. Be mindful of the child’s temperament and avoid overstimulating celebrations. Respecting their emotional needs is key to making the holidays a positive experience.
Reach Out to Your Community
Sometimes, the holiday season can feel overwhelming for foster families, and it can be helpful to lean on your support network. Many organizations and communities offer holiday programs for foster children, including gift drives, food donations, and special events. Don’t hesitate to seek out these opportunities to help ease the financial and emotional load.
In addition, inviting friends, extended family, or even other foster families to share in the holiday spirit can provide much-needed camaraderie and support. It’s important for foster parents to remember that they don’t have to do everything on their own. Sharing the holiday experience with others can reduce stress and make the season more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Celebrate Every Milestone
The holidays are also a great time to reflect on and celebrate the small victories and milestones in a child’s life. Whether it’s academic achievements, overcoming a fear, or simply adjusting to life in a new home, recognizing these milestones reinforces the child’s progress and growth. Celebrating them alongside the holiday festivities makes children feel recognized, valued, and proud of their accomplishments.
By taking a moment to honor their journey, foster parents not only uplift the child but also build a deeper connection. It can be as simple as acknowledging how well the child is adjusting or reflecting on the strength they’ve shown. These little celebrations go a long way in fostering self-esteem and confidence.
Foster care during the holidays doesn’t have to be a stressful experience. With thoughtful planning, a nurturing approach, and a focus on love and connection, foster children can feel safe, valued, and included.
At Foster Courage, we’re committed to supporting foster families and children. If you’re looking for resources, guidance, or ways to get involved, contact Foster Courage at 720-397-3387 and help us create a brighter future for foster children.
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