Once you have decided to take a child under wing whether as a foster parent or an adoptive parent, it is highly important that you give them the love and affection that they have been neglected in the first place.
During the childhood years, it is crucial that one receives love, affection, and attention because this serves as a foundation for how their outlook in life and their character in the future. Sometimes, it can be more difficult for your foster or adopted child than for people with their own biological child. Why? It is because these adopted or foster child/children, have a history of neglect or even abuse and it can be hard for them to learn how to receive the love they have been deprived of.
Because foster parents or adoptive parents know about the child’s history, they try to shower them with love as much as they can – giving them gifts, hugging them all the time. However, before a parent goes overboard with how they give love, one must know what the love language of their children is so that they can effectively make their children feel loved.
Love language is not just for romantic relationships. Rather, it is for every kind of relationship.
Why Is It Important To Learn Someone’s Love Language?
Most often relationships, may it be romantic or family relationships, have conflicts or is not as mutual because we fail to learn how others prefer to receive and give love.
For example, Parent A’s love language is gift-giving. He/she assumes that that is how the child would like to be loved. Therefore, Parent A always buys the kid toys and clothes every day. However, the kid doesn’t appear to be happy. Upon talking, Parent A discovers that the child prefers to be hugged or kissed. Therefore, the child’s love language is physical touch.
That is why it’s so important to learn your child’s love language so you can be able to foster a home and an atmosphere of love and acceptance for your child.
Discover The Child’s Love Language
1. Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation are any form of showing love, affection, praise, encouragement verbally. It’s not just limited to saying, “I love you” It can also be, “I’m proud of you” or “You have been working so hard. Keep it up.”
This is also not just limited to words said orally but can also be through messages or notes.
2. Physical Touch
For others, they love receiving all sorts of physical touches – through kisses, a pat in the back, or a hug. It’s one of the most obvious love languages. However, it’s not for all. Some people are uneasy when they are hugged.
3. Quality Time
This is one thing that is not easy to detect because some children have difficulty admitting that they need quality time from you as their parent. When your child’s love language is quality time, it means they need your undivided attention.
It’s not going to a restaurant but you end up using your phones. It’s all about bonding with them, talking with them, and just doing things together as a parent and child. It is all about the gift of the present and your presence.
This is a challenge for those who have more than one child, but equality is usually the key if both of them have quality time as their main love language.
Take note that it is crucial for you to discover whether quality time is your child’s main love language because when they do not receive undivided attention from you, they would rather receive negative attention.
4. Giving of Gifts
Some people also love accepting gifts whether on Christmas day, on their birthday. However, people whose love language is receiving of gifts appreciate it more when gifts are given at random.
If this is your child’s love language, it means they’d like to receive a toy, a book, or something new. It doesn’t have to be something extraordinary and expensive. Usually, they appreciate it because you have thought of an object that they might like or need.
5. Acts of Service
Lastly, the acts of service. Some mistake it for quality time; however, this is a different love language. Your children might appreciate it when you help them do their homework, you fix up their lunch for them, or you help prepare their requirements. It’s about willing to give time to help them achieve their goals so that they feel that they are not alone
We know you’re reading this because you have courage. Therefore, if you are ready to adopt a child or be a foster parent, contact us now. Give us a call at 719-321-4319 or fill out our website form, and let’s get in touch!